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What's Next?

Seriously... WHAT could possibly happen NEXT? WHICH one of my body parts will peel, ooze, swell, leak, break, bleed, drip, crust over, fall off or in general FAIL me next?

I feel older than dirt...

I've recovered from the cold, complete with a nice new layer of skin surrounding my nose, all is well there. I've been being GOOD. I swear I have! I've been regaining my confidence about entering back into the work force and going on and getting back to doing my thing. I have my resume ready, not that I'll need it for my silly profession, but it does come in handy for filling out applications. I become retarded when I job hunt. I can shine when it comes to interviewing or tests or "auditions" (for decorators they want to see what you can do) but I can't remember my own phone number or address to save my life, let alone the names of people I used to work for and their numbers... so, a resume comes in handy for me.

I sat down and figured out my total monthly bills and how much I need to earn. That was actually kind of nice and I got a giggle from it. My bills are NOTHING compared to what they used to be. They are one third of what I used to pay when I was married and in that pit in Florida. Have I mentioned before how glad I am that part of my life is over?

What happens now?

I have a stye. I woke up this morning and I have a friggin STYE. What the heck? My lower eyelid is all swollen up and red, My eyeball is totally bloodshot. I look like I have pink-eye but I don't. Ugh! And here I thought the peeling, flakey skin around my nose was beautiful before? Well, THIS is another attractive look for job interviewing for a food service job. I'm sure I'd be hired instantly even though my eye is practically swollen shut, for friggin' cryin' out loud.

The good news is that this isn't new to me and I've got some great goopy stuff that I can put in my eye to clear it right up. So, I'll spend anyother daily healing. Ah well... I wanted to clean the apartment anyway.


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 25th, 2007 09:52 pm (UTC)
I tried to call you this morning and you didnt answer, now I know why. When youre feeling up to it, give me a call if youd like. I was just checking up on ya

Jan. 26th, 2007 03:35 am (UTC)
Jan. 26th, 2007 05:45 am (UTC)
Hi Dirt! I started feeling that old a longggggggg time ago.ha! I was a young bride,a young mother,a young grandmother. Wow now I'm a old fart!

Thats not what I hear tho..I hear the young gal,I hear the sex and playfulness.
You may be almost broke but you have so much richness in your life.

I was kinda in a slump the last week,then I read you,Jessie and Connie. There's always a laugh in there somewhere and a life that I reconize.

hugs to Tony...he's going to make it. He doesn't have to fight to show them he's not taking their crap.

Around the 5th I'm going to try to get off some presciption meds that are horrible and i'm really addicted to. i'm really scared and i'm going to need the prayers of everyone. The Loratab I'm not as scared of as the Actiq. Actiq is for people with cancer. The doctor convinced me I needed it and that there's days my pain is that bad. I've never had cancer but I know I have the most terrible pain with the RSD. I can't think of it ever being worst but hell I couldn't take any worst. Thats when thoughts of sucide come in my head. Listening to your pain and wallys I know I can't hurt my family that way. The trouble is...the family doesn't think my pain is that bad. They think i should be able to handle it. take some moltrin.
wellthe family are going to the doctor with me and hopefully we'll figure out what i'm going to do. i think i may land up in detox because the actiq is horrible. i get like 120 a month and i'm out by the 3rd week. then the withdrawl starts. my legs jerk,i can't handle noise,i don't want to eat and i lay here doing nothing but praying. i can't sit at the computer or even haVE IT HERE IIN THE BED. i KNOW i'M WRITTING TOO MUCH...GUESS i NEEDED TO SPILL TO SOMEONE WHO MIGHT UNDERSTAND. GEEEEEZ.


lIZ p

Jan. 26th, 2007 05:04 pm (UTC)
Hello Liz,
I'm glad that you came here to spill. Keep your eye out for an email from me. Know that you are in my thoughts.
Big Hugs, KZ
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )



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